I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
