I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
