the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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