so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
