well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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