it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
