Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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