The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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