I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
