Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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