Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
