...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
