Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
