I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
