I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
