I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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