Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
