I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
