Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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