Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
