dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
