Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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