some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
