i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He felt like a one man threesome
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
