i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
