Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
