Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
