arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
