Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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