the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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