look no pants
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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