I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
