grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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