DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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