I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
