I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
