BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
