i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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