if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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