You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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