Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
