So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
