Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
