Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
