At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
