was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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