Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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