these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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