That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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