I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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