You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
