zippers are such a cool invention
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
